You don’t need to change! You just need to remember…

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I believe in the power of the subconscious and positive thinking, but even more than that, I believe in what we already carry deep within us.

More and more often, conversations about personal growth start with the mind. If we change the way we think, we change our lives. Limited thinking leads to a limited reality. New thinking unlocks a new version of ourselves. I’ve heard it expressed in dozens of ways – that when you change the way you think, you’ll change your life. And yes, I believe that’s absolutely true. Our thoughts influence how we feel, how we choose, and how we act.

I’ve read a lot on this topic, and thanks to those books, I’ve made it through some really difficult chapters in my life. But sometimes I wonder if we’re actually thinking the wrong way – or if we’ve just forgotten how to listen to what was once so clear before we started analyzing everything.

I believe we didn’t come into this world lacking. I believe we’re born with something inside us that guides us from the very beginning. Call it an inner compass, intuition, a voice, wisdom, a built-in navigation system – that quiet sense that you know who you are, even without words. It’s not something we have to build. It has always been there. Within us.

And with time, we forget. Not all at once, but gradually. Through growing up, adapting, socializing, making small compromises, trying to be understood, liked, and accepted by the world around us. And so, without noticing, we start to drift away from ourselves. And the more we try to force change, the further we move from what once felt natural.

That’s why this piece isn’t about change. It’s about remembering. About that quiet process where you don’t add to yourself – you let go of what was never really yours. That moment when you don’t rebuild yourself, you recognize yourself. As you’ve always been.

 

How do we drift away from ourselves without realizing it?

Have you ever said “okay” when what you really meant was “no”? Smiled when everything inside you felt tight? Reacted the way others expected you to, even when it didn’t feel right? Agreed to something just to avoid conflict? Swallowed something important to you because “it’s not the right time”?

These are small shifts – almost invisible, like a gentle turn in the road that feels insignificant at first, but with time takes you somewhere completely different. If they pile up enough, you find yourself far from where you started.

And then you begin to feel like something is missing. Like you’re not whole. Like you need something outside yourself to feel complete. Your confidence shakes. Your sense of identity fades. And your connection with yourself becomes harder to feel – as if you’ve lost the way to find yourself again. You start telling yourself, “I need to change.”

But the truth? You’ve just drifted away. And that feeling of loss isn’t about not being enough – it’s about losing touch with something that used to be clear.

 

How do you begin to remember who you are?

The path inward isn’t a transformation. It’s not a radical reinvention of your personality. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s a return. A remembering. A quiet rediscovery of the things that make you who you are.

• Start with writing

Writing is a bridge between your inner and outer worlds. Don’t start with a plan. Don’t try to sound wise. Just begin with something real.

Let your thoughts spill out, uncensored. Write as if no one will ever read it. Write without knowing where you’re going. You can start with a simple sentence: “Lately, I’ve been feeling…” and let your hand lead the way.

Often, what wants to come out lives deeper than words. But words open the way. They shift layers. They allow us to hear ourselves in a way we haven’t in a long time. Sometimes your hand will go where your mind doesn’t dare.

• Make space for silence

We live in a time where silence has almost vanished. There is sound, motion, content, and distraction everywhere. But your inner voice doesn’t shout. It whispers. And to hear it, things need to quiet down.

Silence isn’t passivity. Silence is an invitation. A place where thoughts settle, and we start to hear what we haven’t let ourselves hear. You can sit by the window without your phone. Walk in the park without headphones. Hold a cup of tea with nothing else around.

Where distraction stops, remembering begins. In the silence, answers may not come, but feelings will. Peace comes without resistance – often with tears. These are soft reminders that you’re still here. That something in you is still alive, waiting to be heard.

• Remember what you loved before you learned to doubt yourself

Before we started doubting, we just were. We did things because we loved them, not because they brought results, recognition, or meaning defined by someone else.

Maybe you used to draw with crayons. Maybe you made up stories, sang, collected leaves, or watched the clouds without needing anything more.

Remember those moments. Not the activities, but the feeling. What did it feel like not to prove anything? To just be yourself?

You don’t have to go back to those things as hobbies. What matters is giving yourself that way of being again, in freedom. In lightness. In joy without reason. That feeling is a trace. And it’s still in you.

• Listen to your body. Listen to your heart

Before words, there is sensation. Before we understand, we experience.

The body and the heart remember everything – even what the mind tries to erase. They know when you were quiet from fear or quiet from tenderness. They remember when you curled up because something in you wanted to hide, and when you relaxed because you were exactly where you needed to be, without pretending.

Sometimes we think we don’t know what to do, but really, we just haven’t listened closely enough. Your body will tell you when something isn’t yours – that knot in your chest, the tiredness without cause, the tension in your voice.

The heart speaks, too. When you’re true to yourself, it breathes easily. When you’re not, it starts to close – not because it’s weak, but because it’s trying to protect you.

This connection–with your body, with your heart–isn’t a concept. It’s a practice. Every day, little by little. To let yourself pause. To listen. To return. They know. And if you let them, they’ll show you the way back.

• Accept that some people will leave – and that too is part of the path

As you return to yourself, not only does your inner world change. The outer one begins to shift as well. Some people will sense they can no longer walk beside you. There will be distance, silence, and growing apart.

And yes, that may hurt. Don’t see it as a failure. It’s the natural rhythm of things. Because when you begin to move closer to yourself, you sometimes move away from what was built on compromise.

Maybe you’ll be alone for a while. Maybe you’ll feel sadness that someone didn’t understand you. But the right people… will stay. Or new ones will come. They’ll feel you without needing you to explain. They’ll feel easy to be around. You’ll find silence with them, and not feel lost in it — you might even begin to find yourself again. Allow this process. Don’t resist the sifting. It’s not a loss. It’s space clearing itself for a new connection – with yourself, and with those who will love the truest version of you.

 

It’s time to meet yourself again. The new-old you.

When you begin to return, it won’t feel like something big. You won’t recognize it by external signs. There won’t be a clear moment where you say, “Now I’m different.” But something inside you will start to soften. You’ll notice yourself reacting differently – not because you’re trying, but because there’s nothing left to fake.

There will be moments of strange calm. Without a reason, without noise, just… ease.

And still, you may not be sure it’s progress. There will be days when you doubt. There will be people who say you’ve changed – and they’ll say it with more disappointment than admiration. There will be moments when you’ll want to go back to what was familiar, predictable, recognizable.

But don’t. Don’t give up on yourself just when you’re starting to find your way.

Coming back to yourself takes courage. Not the loud kind that proves something. The quiet kind. The kind that stays with you, even when everyone else walks away.

Somewhere in there… is you.

And really, you’ve always been there.

You’re just remembering now how to return.

 

The real ending is a return to the beginning.

Coming home to yourself isn’t always a beautiful story. Sometimes it’s confusing. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s filled with doubt. But it’s always true. And if you’ve reached this point – if you feel even a little closer to yourself than you did yesterday – then you’re already on your way.

At the end of this story, here’s what I know for sure: you don’t need to change. What you need is space. Space to meet yourself again. Without expectation. Without pressure. Just with a heart that’s ready to listen.

🤍 If this touched something in you, pause, stay, and ask yourself:
“What part of me was already whole before I decided it wasn’t?”

📌 Save this for the days you forget.
Send it to someone who’s also trying to find their way back.
And if you’d like to keep walking this path together, I’m so glad you’re here!

#TheWayBackIn

 

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